The Game(th) Sense

Intro : This article was in my drawers for years. I wrote many versions of it, countless times. Enough! I am just going to publish it.

I play video games since early 90’s. I have 2 boys. I play all types of games. The last 3 of the moment : Ghost Runner, Citizen Sleeper 2, Sekiro.

Raising children involves to walk the talk on the behaviors you want to teach them. Gaming like any passion can easily turn you from reasonable to unreasonable. You are being watched the same way you are watching.

In this article, I share my experience, and I do not intend to teach or advocate because I am not an expert. What I am going through and what I learned from my friends in the same configuration is real life, and I thought sharing this might be useful. If you have tips, please don’t hesitate to share.

Level 1 : Sharing the Passion

There is no need to turn your kids toward your passion. Today I think you have at least 90% chances that your kids will play video games even if you don’t. In my case surprise…they both like playing too 😎. If they are not into it don’t to insist.

Level 2 : You are not Alone.

In early days gaming was mostly a boy/men thing. It has evolved and more girls/women are playing video games, I even saw some statistics in the US showing it is almost 50/50.

If you both are gamers that’s probably going to be way easier (Or not ? – Maybe a subject for another article). It is important to show consideration for the other half. Don’t make the other feel isolated or ignored. A wrong time to start your console, a distracted answer while you are playing and you can turn a happy loving wife/husband into something that is worse than Sekiro’s Last boss in a second. It is all about care and balance. in both ways, if your partner knows that this is your passion and your personality, trying to change you is… not a good idea. Few tips based on experience

• Prioritize : Partner time, Family time, Homework, House Chores and other important things first and then enjoy.
• Schedule : agree together on your preferred timing especially if you are the solo type and you don’t like interruptions and chat while playing.
• Select the Game : If you happen to play in the presence of your other half, select a game you can “Pause” :D. Don’t start an online match on a call of Duty and you get the “please can you take out the trash”.
• Select the Game 2 : when your family is around, be mindful of the type of games and content. Horror/Violence type like Resident, not a good idea. Also if you choose to play a Stellar Blade graphic type of game and your loved one is a jealous type…you are asking for trouble. Disclaimer : It is important to note that I didn’t play Stellar Blade at all 😅.

Benefit 1 -Enjoy together

There are good sides by the way and the first one is : we play together , our favorite game remain Street of Rage 4 in Survival. We play 3 players co-op the screen is messed up and it is super fun. It is an opportunity to spend quality time together and build nice memories.

Level 3 – You (Still) can’t do what you want

As a responsible parent, you must lead by example. They cannot be encouraged if they see you all the time in front of the PC or console playing while they are doing homework. You have to have a discipline. In my case no gaming during weekdays of any form console, mobile, zero. Starting Friday to Sunday it is authorized. I have to admit that sometimes, I wanted to play but I didn’t because of them 😅 It is funny because when I had their age, I was restricted by my parents and I thought that when I will get my own life, I will be free to play anytime. Monumental mistake!! 😂 Now I am restricted by my family. This is the circle of gamers life.

Level 4 – PG Ratings

In terms of choice of games, parental controls and the ability to allow your kids to play certain games or not. You have to face the facts if you have kids below 18 there are certain games 18 and above it will be difficult for you to avoid them playing. I have connected in matches of Call Of Duty, Titan Fall, Apex Legend and the voices that I heard there with extremely bad language didn’t sound 18 at all. Plus now games can be played on Mobile. Your kids will be exposed to them before 18 for sure unless you live in a vacuum. My policy is a case by case but I might give the permission, watch (remember 01 TV only) and keeping a dialogue on keeping the permission on or off.

Bonus Stage 2 – Smaller Culture Gap between generations

We are a generation of parents that I consider lucky because we have been exposed to mostly the same elements of culture as our kids and we have used them before them. Example of video games, mobiles, comic books, super heroes. It is not the same gap in my case with my parents who although very supportive were far away from these.

I have spent my childhood in Cameroon and my father, an engineer is quite knowledgeable about technologies, music, movies, but concepts like science fiction, super heroes, video games, were things that he had very little or no idea about. This was kind of weird stuff for him. And “weird” could very easily be associated to useless or dangerous. It was an era were my father was hearing from his friends that video games were making kids stupid or they were containing evil messages. As a rational person, he didn’t take other people words for it and he never forbid me to do stuff as long as I got descent results at school. He was still concerned and not sure what to do, so he decided to check. One day he saw me playing and he sat next to me. I was playing and he started observing the screen and I was barely paying attention to him.

This is him telling me the story “You were playing some kind of mission and I saw you were moving character through different places and I started observing the screen and started asking you questions. What do you need to do ? why are going there ? why you just did this ? why not that”. I swear I was probably in the zone and I was answering like a robot don’t even remember what I was telling him. Then he stood up and left. He told me this story many years later. ” You know, your video game stuff, I understood there is logic behind, this require some thinking and can’t be simply labelled “stupid stuff” or making you stupid”. Not all my friends were this lucky and some had to hide or go other places to play. The game I think it was Metal Gear Solid on Playstation.

Conclusion

It is possible to balance your passion and remain yourself while taking into account the preferences of the other members of the family. You need to level up and see what works for all of you such that you can enjoy the best game of your life. The one of having a happy family.